I woke up November 9th and realized I was in an abusive relationship
Step one: You are not alone.
No matter who voted what and where, Islamophobia and pussy-grabbing are not the norm. Hey, they're not even the majority.
Step two: He doesn’t mean it.
Oh, yes he does. Your average Trump voters aren't an ignorant underclass striking out blindly. Your average Trump voters are your in-laws, your high-school buddies back home, the ones with two cars in the garage and deep, vicious resentments, and they knew exactly what they’re were voting for. And against.
Step three: Don’t blame yourself.
It’s not because you've been too pushy, or too demanding; it’s not because of political correctness or elitism. And if these idiots resent the pushback from women and blacks and others, just wait and see the pushback they're about to get.
Step four: You can't go back to the way things were before.
A friend of mine is from an old, prestigious slave-owning family; an ancestor signed the Ordinance of Secession in 1860 which explains that the reason for Secession was, that that Northerners were trying to impose their abolitionist ways of thinking on them. My friend has been defriending his family and childhood friends on Facebook, all Trump supporters. No more Mr. Nice Guy at the Thanksgiving table. Racism and hatred and woman-bashing are not subject to reasonable disagreement.
Step five: Don't enable the enablers.
There are plenty in the media and government who really don’t care who’s in power as long as they have access to power. That’s their business. Don't make it yours.
Step six: Things won’t change unless you change them yourself.
I’ve done this before and my parents did it before me, and my grandparents as well. This is the point where you up and head for America, or Greenwich Village, or the East Village, or Europe, anywhere you can rebuild your country and your life. December 2 was the anniversary of Mario Savio’s speech at Sproul Hall in Berkeley in 1964:
There's a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart, that you can't take part! You can't even passively take part! And you've got to put your bodies upon the gears and upon the wheels--upon the levers, upon all the apparatus--and you've got to make it stop! And you've got to indicate to the people who run it, to the people who own it, that unless you're free, the machine will be prevented from working at all!
As the lady said:
“I will survive.” Or what's the point.